March Madness

Luckily, my flow will ebb on

My charge of subsequent ramblings in a sphere of humanism. If I care too much about my thoughts of myself I turn grey and void. My escape can only come with the next rushed moment. I seek my Salvation as if I’m running with it stretched out in hand. ¬†glaring at the imagined reality of TRUTH. Dancing with the very desire which will liberate self from worries, suffering, anxiety ….to name a few!

Luckily my flow ebbs on

I want to tell a good story

I aim to entertain

Pity this not

it had a plot.

Proof read not

Linger in thought……NOT

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Being Back is Good !! Back in the saddle again

HAPPY HOLIDAYS HUMANITY

Am I growing as a person?

My time in a prison

Am I growing resentment

Trying to grip ‘IT’

hOLD FAST to family

THIS MAN IS WICKED

Am I growing as a person?

My time in a prison……

Be Welcome ūüôā

evaluating my situation

knowing I am part of the creation

Solute absolute insanity

tapping into the deeper part of me.

FREAK

FREAK OUT w/Me

Judge not my insanity.

Inhuman experience

until then, I get a jolt….of juice

Manic Monday…..

fun game for the day

any time/every time, TRY to acknowledge one another with a touch or a kiss.

I feel this focus is proactive to a positive expression in the creation of my reality. ¬†GOD LOVES, says Telly…..and I say, “Amen, GOD LOVES”

Love breeds Love

another game

Look at the words that are coming out and when !! For me, I am trying to use a different word (create a new pathway/observe and respond)…..OR NOT !! TO REACT is to reveal my weakness. ¬†My weakness lies in the attachment to the past moment. ¬†I am¬†liberated ,RIGHT NOW, unchanged by gain or loss.¬†¬†I am able to control, ‘ONLY’ how I am going to perceive my current reality. ¬†Acceptance breeds Acceptance. ¬†

I observe myself with no time’. ¬†“No Time” pushing me into a box, (closed-minded expectation). ¬†It’s not in me to play ‘Mary-Maid’ today…..herbalist enthusiast ? ….LOOKING FOR A BALANCE !!!

The compulsion to speak is one thing…..the words I use when I speak is yet another interesting observatory position (IOP)¬†but the same. ¬†Different but yet the same

More Moments Plz

I am aligning with my guidance system. ¬†It ‘feels good’ !! ¬†I know for a fact ASSISTANT is my proper place (at this moment I am aligning with what I have put out into the Universe over and over again). ¬†My dreams are an unfolding moment to moment. ¬†I am attaining my dream to learn about the Herbs/Natural Healing of Mother Earth.

In the past 2 days I have aligned with natural horsemanship (an ongoing connection.  Every thought I put out in the Universe (thoughts I continue to entertain or give attention to), is coming round once again.  I am not surprised.  My connection is rooted deep.

Assistant to my herbalist at her shop. ¬†A professional look !! ¬†I have a tomboy mask, home girl tone, mommy role, cowgirl ‘in toe’

Who

College is a place to develop social relationships, boundaries included. ¬†I put myself in social college every time I interact with others. ¬†I want to experience many roles in this life time. ¬†If not college, then what?……A Family !? ¬†My life unfolded the way it has and I am embracing every choice in every moment to completely align with my desires (ever evolving as they are). ¬†BUT WHAT DO I KNOW… I NEVER MADE IT LONG ENOUGH TO GET ANY GRADES FROM COLLEGE.

May every moment unfold with grace and offerings of a fresh

BoxMeUp 1…2….3…bing

Time with men

Time with women

Time with elders

Time with children

I do not fully understand why all of these make sense to me. ¬†I did not read this anywhere. ¬†No one said this to me. ¬†I DISCOVERED IT THROUGH EXPERIENCing (perceived perception). ¬†My box is a different box than your’s. ¬†The geometric and color. ¬†Some might embellish a sued or velvet lining.

Our boxes, ‘the box’ we all create for ourselves looks, smells, taste, sounds (the same BUT different. ¬†In general we ALL put ourselves in a box of beliefs. ¬†Specifically, our boxes will have the same objects in different places. ¬†This box is ever evolving change. ¬†Nothing in my house stays the same. ¬†Well……the kitchen and the bathroom never move. ¬†The rest of the house is fair game. ¬†I love my little ‘adobe hut’

I need to¬†‘VENT ¬†my BOX’

“ACKWARD” more like corny: ‘Vent my Box’ ……..OR……. Horny ??

How do spending time with people of all ages and ethnic culture help me be a better ME ? ¬†I like this balance. ¬†And hope to elaborate at a later date (that is if you ¬†are interested?) my experience with giving time to each of these groups of people. ¬†Enough time to see something (truth)/which sometimes doesn’t take very long, in retrospect !!

Clues are everywhere (inside us and ALL around us) OF US !!

I have found a way to be around ‘anyone’

I play reporter ūüôā ¬†Pen and paper allows me to communicate through AND TOO. ¬†Too Who? ¬†To the Universe baby ūüôā

grandpa/elder

 

son

 

men

 

women

 

men and women.

AND THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT MY THOUGHTs? ¬†(Helps me better understand how to align with my desires) ¬†The emotions behind my thoughts reveal the deeper truth about ‘ME”

There are those who would ‘GREATLY BENIEFET FROM GROUP ACTIVITIES’ !!

I have entertained/given energy to thoughts of working with ‘Veterans of War’.

Mental Health wants me real bad ūüôā Not only as a patient BUT….they have offered training for a ‘Peer Counselor’ (Basically, some one-off the streets who has found joy in a sober life). ¬†That is MY short version

And on with the music & breath & let go

‘Tool Bag Tuesday’ Sliding Scale

Negativity sticks, like mud !!!

The moment a negative stance on life sits next to me

Why do people ask for the Universe to provide and then turn their noses up to the answered prayers ?

I will keep on keeping on. ¬†Rooting for those who have the desire to ‘know for themselves’. ¬†I will Love them, even when they can not love themselves. ¬†The level of connection limited. ¬†The power of the position will determine the outcome. ¬†For example; ¬†If a woman and her position against her husband is strong enough she has the power to end the marriage. ¬†Her position against life awaits the next victum. ¬†Not always the case…..just ‘one case’. ¬†There are many forces that work out side of our control. ¬†The only control I have ? ¬†I seek control over my mind. ¬†BETTER YET, I seek gentle kindness to all living beings (including myself).

Depending on the strength of opposition, ¬†the situation is sometimes recoverable. ¬†(Luckily MOST HUMANS get tired/need rest. ¬†After which time we can try again.) Getting chances over and over and over again/ a lifetime of moments leading up to the ‘BIG….BERY BIG, ‘MOMENT’ ??? ¬†The last moment of detachment to this life/death.

The world gets a break.

The Universe can communicate to us in our dreams.

Healing energies tapped into at the fourth level of relaxation (Alpha Level).    Deep relaxation allows the mind to heal the body.

Reference YOU THE HEALER Jose Silva and Robert B. Stone

Manic Monday

Telly reassured my score as a wife and mother.  Her verbal approval of Our Marriage is rare, especially from a Young Women from a split up family.  She has more of a chance with her future than her parents did.  By choices that they made.  Our chances of changing our lives is strengthened by our parents mistakes.  We can love them, for they are our parents.  They took on a life altering situation by agreeing to take part in parenting.

BUT FOR GOODNESS SAKES…..We don’t need to make the same waste of time ‘staying high’ ¬†on what ever it is that takes them away from self-awareness/and learning gentle kindness toward themselves. ¬†

For many years, I played out the role my addict mother chose. ¬†Some how I felt closer to her. ¬†The world was definitely a better place when my mother was spreading love. ¬†She passed away when I was 10. ¬† I discovered, with the help of my hubby, ¬†I didn’t need ignorance bliss in my experience. ¬†My mom was unavailable for my brother and I. ¬†AND, this was not the life worth living. ¬†My pity for her. ¬†I didn’t want to be better than her. ¬†I was making sure of that when I used Meth, Sex, or anything else used out of proportion.

Telly: ¬†“You guys should stay to together always. ¬†You are ‘Dynamite Couple”

Telly’s dad (Mr. Lincolns PaPa), took time out from work to raise the children, while mother worked from 7 to 7 . ¬†She was unable to be present and still struggles with her relationships (by her choice). ¬†Some people are said to be born that way, unavailable emotionally/ emotionally out of control.

I only know that I was Not……..born that way. ¬†I am not accepting ‘ignorant is bliss’. ¬†I continue to be interested in a balanced life. ¬†An appropriate placement of emotions. ¬†A time and place for ‘everything’.

Within the moments of unfolding life there are opportunities for MANY ROLES for one to choice to play. ¬†A well orchestrated social performance allows for us ALL to get a taste of ¬†‘center stage’ if You will.

God Knows What’s Up

I remember thinking! ¬†NO…..I REMEMBER KNOWING!! ¬†I was a Meth junky, 2 years in….maybe. ¬†I remember knowing that I could have a Life worth living. ¬†Blessed I am¬†with a healthy body and mind. ¬†I ¬†have a communicative relationship with my Angels’. ¬†More than I used to, and not always tuned in when I would like to be. ¬†¬†

WHEN ?

My girlfriend asked, ‘When?” ¬†I naturally, without effort, ” Sooner than Later / Before but After “

My interpretation;  Soonerthan later (You can count on me)  Before but After (Before dark but after dinner)

Do You have any tags for Sooner than Later/ Before but After ?