I see RED, and I can’t see at all

Patterns of thought;

I feel loved and unaccepted

tolerated and rejected.

I see red, and can’t see at all.

My verse is short

My fuse is fragile

I see red, and can’t see at all.


where they lead me.

Solutions of Insanity

Pathways to Serenity

I see red, and can’t see at all.

Spying escape from myself

I tear away my mask.

I see red, and I can’t see at all.

My Fans shred away my inhibition.

I walk in submission

Head Held High

eyes turned down



The torture of silence brews in fear of not being acknowledged.

Oad to the world


Oad to the world

my time spent plundering

a treasure never mine……

Oad to you.

It is getting quite cold in here

death is

cold……dark, the darkest kind of cold; rooted to

DESIRE…..’desire for life’





Dreams of a (PIL) Perfect Imagined Live

gains courage


I am on this journey knowing one thing only….(that I don’t know MUCH)

That I get stuck

I get  mugged

I desire blood.



Much time spent

playing ignorant!

My uncontrollable plight

I beg for the night

I wake with horrid fright

I tremble at the sight of my moment to moment strife

Guided by a force unknown

I look to the tools the Universe has shown

My past and future are my present

Like a Christmas in November……

except it is October.

My red turns to bright pinks and purples


I am but MAN

Seeking to understand……

HOw to let go .And let God


Anyone whom admits defeat is a friend of mine. I am powerless over people, places and things today!


Happy Friday as well!!!


HOW I FIND LIBERATION….in this moment!!!!!

The truth shall set me FREEEEEEEeeeeeeeeee.

The point is…….I GET TO WRITE.  I choose to do things, all the day through, that contribute to a healthier ME !!! ………or not.

I received my first Massage. delicious. 

Motor Mama, ‘Grace’ got an oil change. delicious.

Great-Grandpape passed in the night

Aquarian of his loins/ his realized insight

Power in ‘YES’

BE GOOD TO UR HUSBAND is his request.



Kaydee spinin out

Manic Monday…..

fun game for the day

any time/every time, TRY to acknowledge one another with a touch or a kiss.

I feel this focus is proactive to a positive expression in the creation of my reality.  GOD LOVES, says Telly…..and I say, “Amen, GOD LOVES”

Love breeds Love

another game

Look at the words that are coming out and when !! For me, I am trying to use a different word (create a new pathway/observe and respond)…..OR NOT !! TO REACT is to reveal my weakness.  My weakness lies in the attachment to the past moment.  I am liberated ,RIGHT NOW, unchanged by gain or loss.  I am able to control, ‘ONLY’ how I am going to perceive my current reality.  Acceptance breeds Acceptance.  

I observe myself with no time’.  “No Time” pushing me into a box, (closed-minded expectation).  It’s not in me to play ‘Mary-Maid’ today…..herbalist enthusiast ? ….LOOKING FOR A BALANCE !!!

The compulsion to speak is one thing…..the words I use when I speak is yet another interesting observatory position (IOP) but the same.  Different but yet the same

Manifesting before Me

some things are unacceptable,

for me, to take part

Lets contribute to creating


anyone got something they are into ?

I will contribute to something progressive

a culmination of 1 minute skits

before the audience gets blitzes

my desires held in vibrational escrow

tapping into the ‘flow’

flow of alignment

living on consignment

I perceive through ‘vibration translation’

ever evolving change


Chose frequency

Full Power of Clarity, Love, Focus

Aligns me with ALL THAT IS GOOD

what is

dictates no more

how I feel

Art of Allowing

feel better NOW


the Ultimate Manifestation

wanna be happy ?

focus on happy

‘Tool Bag Tuesday’ Sliding Scale

Negativity sticks, like mud !!!

The moment a negative stance on life sits next to me

Why do people ask for the Universe to provide and then turn their noses up to the answered prayers ?

I will keep on keeping on.  Rooting for those who have the desire to ‘know for themselves’.  I will Love them, even when they can not love themselves.  The level of connection limited.  The power of the position will determine the outcome.  For example;  If a woman and her position against her husband is strong enough she has the power to end the marriage.  Her position against life awaits the next victum.  Not always the case…..just ‘one case’.  There are many forces that work out side of our control.  The only control I have ?  I seek control over my mind.  BETTER YET, I seek gentle kindness to all living beings (including myself).

Depending on the strength of opposition,  the situation is sometimes recoverable.  (Luckily MOST HUMANS get tired/need rest.  After which time we can try again.) Getting chances over and over and over again/ a lifetime of moments leading up to the ‘BIG….BERY BIG, ‘MOMENT’ ???  The last moment of detachment to this life/death.

The world gets a break.

The Universe can communicate to us in our dreams.

Healing energies tapped into at the fourth level of relaxation (Alpha Level).    Deep relaxation allows the mind to heal the body.

Reference YOU THE HEALER Jose Silva and Robert B. Stone

Wednesday Wisdom

Every thing seemed ‘so urgent‘ when I was using meth. BUT THIS ISN’T ABOUT METH.  I realize my purpose is to understand seven years post Meth Addict and I still have rushing thoughts of urgency.  I had urgency attacks as a young girl.

As a young girl, my afternoons were spent at our family business, where my father owns and operates a Body Shop.  Paint fumes could have contributed to my mania. YOU THINK?

KNOW OF ; Adventures in Babysitting (YOU THINK?)


bLASt OFF’ and Away, far away,

a land of enchantment 

a where stones of knowledge appear/Reveal 

‘Tool Bag’ Tuesday

I have considered creating a dark alter/exercising my expression of anger in a progressive manner, IF THAT IS POSSIBLE.


Darkness has come over me gradually.  I was not born with dark thoughts.  Our minds unconsciously entertain moments of despairing loneliness.  (We become consciously aware of ourselves with the help of contrast in life.  We know better what we want when we understand what it is we don’t want.)


So as to not focus or harness the dark arts I have chosen to seek exercises which bring me closer to my desires.  Desire peace of mind and good will to man…AND MUCH MORE!

MUCH MORE……channeling energies to create magic in my life.

What do I do when the creative energy is stirring?

Create a ‘tool bag’ FULL-up with feel good focus on what I am aligning with the most.  Your going to like this.   Every time you mention or think of something you want to align with, Write down your (PILL) Perfect Imagined Life List.  Every time you mention or think of something for or on the list, write it down and tally mark it.  

My list: Apron sewing project, making my retro furniture, Mr. Lincolns Halloween costume….for example, I could choose to work on each project when I think of it.  If you touch it you get to move it….where to?  Hopefully where it belongs.  Trash is trash.  Attention to trash long enough to get rid of it, and hopefully it isn’t for too long.  Make room for a Newly Realized You (NRY).

We all have ambition.  The birth of a manic phase holds magic.  I need to bring that magic with me through the cycle of depression.  CUZ IT CONTINUES TO COME.  Bipolar/ Manic Depressive 2

When I am in a manic state (I consider this state an observation of the creative self-motivated (outward) and inspired (inward) self.  Any and All of Us already possess creative expression.  Life is a creative expression.

BEWARE depression

I have a ‘tool bag’ to combat/sooth.

Here it is:  When I am feeling good, for example, while I was skimming ‘VERANDA’ magazine I became emotionally charged with some of the eye candy that aligned with my dreamy desires.  I could create a ‘Dream Poster’.  I actually have done that before.  I wonder how they would match up today?!

When I am feeling down I need to have something strong enough to keep me working to achieve goals.  When depressed we lose sight/life doesn’t feel worth living.  We forget about our goals and ambition.

Focusing on a list-list all the things which come to mind when you are feeling good.  I want to have a base station and a cb radio for the car.  How will I achieve this?  I might show up at the Amateur Radio Club, for starters.   


Law of Attraction states I will attract that which I continue to give energy.  My support for the dark alter would be in special circumstances.  Addressing the injustice done is essential to the recovering process.

Displacement of anger is used when the ‘tool bag’ is half empty/half full; it doesn’t rally matter.  If we don’t use the tools needed for the job-job getting us to resign our position against life.  A tool can only be as good as the manipulation I tweak it with.  I mean, what works for me may not be the best approach for You.  So Tweak It a Bit!

What are some tools in Your ‘tool bag’ ?  What sort of exercises help you align with your desires?