This day continues to spray mists of light upon my soul.
I can hardly believe I was in a Full-On position against life. I am a passionate expressive woman with an intellectual Gentle loving hubby. Knowing him in his true nature, I get glimpses! Some how I will look inside myself to find the answers.
I mean, Some how I nurture the boy his mother refused to slow down and get to know (what ever that means. I noticed myself pause at the sewing machine to observe Mr. Lincoln playing with his mini Tanka’s. )
I am scared of missing out on life. My gauges seem to be sticky, the past few months. Lithium and Trazadone free since June?….July? I would have to do some journal pinbacks.
On with the music
I want to share my dreams and ambition with my family. Life altering experiences add character. The whole world would have it that way….TRUST ME!! A Happy Mother =’s a Life Worth Living (LWL).
We feel strongly about some things-ideas we continue to entertain. Our beliefs are merely thoughts we continue to have. Something like that If we can understand our feelings about these thoughts, we may very well be able to tap The Chalice Well, yield the Sword, drink from the Grail, cherish the stone.
The way it is refered in DEEPAK CHOPRA; The Return of Merlin
The Chalice Well, the Sword, the Grail, the Stone, these are the tools we must use for this transformation. The Chalice Well is the well-spring of life with in us, where we must return again and again to wash off our toxic experiences. The Sword is the power of love that can slay any dragon. The Grail is the state of grace, and the Stone represents pure knowledge, which is its own fulfillment, and has the infinite organizing power of the universal mind, which is orchestrating the diversity of existence.
I still have not got to the core of this sharing my dreams with You OR have I ?
Currently, Chad hangs out with Mr. Lincoln (our toddler) four hours in the morning. I get home from Mary’s (PIL). Mr. Lincoln is napping or getting ready to nap. Chad and I indulge in some chill time together. By 2 or 3 in the afternoon Mr. Lincoln is needing his mommy time-time for just the TWO OF US!
My girlfriend phoned. She asked how Chad was? I retorted, “I got rid of him”. Stay tuned to hear about why I would do a thing like that ?!?! If I even know
How ever much time I spend out of the home, I would like hubby to have the same amount of time exploring and fulfilling his social responsibility to himself. BUT YOU SEE? This is where I am running up against walls. I want to be undisturbed by gain or loss. I seek to be kinder to my lovely mate, who Loves Me even when I can not Love Myself.
Cheers to Co-dependency