“You Know why I am so Happy?”,at which point he moved in to receive her healing touch! “Let me have you first!” he playfully persuaded! “Not if I have you first”, was her last position on the subject-against life. At that moment of truth 🙂 the spell broken. The good life had returned.
For the past few days spent working out the kinks of our newly realized life. Monday, one week ago, I showed up for the usual workout at Mary’s. Four hours of detailed painting and cleaning 3000 sq. ft., in which time I use for my workout; stretching, core strength building, and balls out 10-15 min. hands and knees (wax-on, wax-off) Floor scrub; knee pads and all bro:) Mary has the best tools on the market at my disposal (Meyers cleaning products are my favorite thus far!). Non-Toxic paint and the best detailed brushes a perfectionist never thought of wanting, but gladius(exceptionally grateful) to have!
Great for spot cleaning after mopping!!
The kinks (contrast) come with the social responsibility I have created for myself. I’m excited to report, Yet Another Self-Discovery!
Mary has since taken leave on business. Leaving me as Substitute Wife, as she put it!! The boys are no problem. For the most part, their work keeps them outside (out of my hair). I think of myself as a realized…….Home-Front Manager. Mary has left me to her realized life, if I may tend to it till she returns. I say, “Lets party like its 1999! WITH THE HOPE THAT SHE MIGHT BE READING THIS, I MOTION FOR A RAISE ON BEHALF OF TRUST AND LOYALTY…..Amen?!
The realized situation has a bit more responsibility than has been revealed thus far. The responsibility lies in my ability to process this newly realized morning exercise with the intention and purpose in discovering more about myself (wishing ALL WELL and safe from my pride).
Yoni resides in the guest bedroom until today, at which time Mary had to take her home. Yoni and I will meet up at Mary’s, except….not tomorrow morning! Mary asked prior in regards to my availability this week. I submitted, willingly! Next we spoke of it, she said Monday, Wednesday, Friday; which worked for my perfect imagined life. I didn’t need her permission to make plans for Tuesday. No problem though….9;30, I will meet up with my mommy friend for coffee and play date(our boys are the same age), enroll in Mops(MommiesOfPre-schoolers) by 11am, home bound for babies nap, and off to Mary’s.
Yoni is barely speaking, by choice. I mean….she avoids speech as much as we let her. I was aggressively perturbed by it Yesterday! When Yoni finally spoke up (LOUD AND CLEAR), I piped out an emotional ‘YA!!!, ALRIGHT!!!!!!’ Wow, that was an emotionally reaction…..rather I would think everyone, including ME, could do without in the future. Wait a minute……..my emotions (contrast) is my guide to aligning with my vibrational energies, getting what I TRULY want!
I imagine a place within myself which allows me to be OK without validation from others. I find reason to receive validation from the words ( the expressions are not enough).
Hicks, The Astonishing Power of Deliberate Intent, p.20
Another important component of a satisfying physical life experience is a recognition of your value and your worthiness, and you can achieve that awareness only through an actual Connection with that Non-Physical part of you. In other words, if you do not consciously realize who-you-really-are-, and manage to vibrationally align with who-you-really-are, there is no other physical substitute for that Connection.
Some try to fill that feeling of void that is present when they are not vibrationally aligned with their Non-Physical Inner Being, Consciousness, God, Source, or Energy (there are many names for this Non-Physical part of you) in a variety of ways: Some seek approval from others, some seek that approval by attempting to modify their behavior in to conform to rules or guidelines of one group or another, and some work hard to excel in their personal behavior by comparing their behavior to that of others they are observing-but there is no substitute for your vibrational alignment with You.
This became obvious when I asked Yoni if she would want me over to her place in the mornings, to keep her company. She smiled and I retorted, “Well, think about it and let me know if that is something you want.
Aside from the fact that I knew Yoni before her breakdown, I was not understanding my pride and the role in which others play in feeding me. I just about punish the situation, which leaves me feeling emotionally abandoned. I laugh at myself if the others present in my reality refuse to give me a prompt reply to my….?talking at them?!
In the 6;30 am, alert and eager for today’s discoveries, I spring into my morning ritual with a new reverence. After naming the above participant in my reality Yoni, I turned to Wikipedia for answers? I am not surprised my vibrations are aligning. I am running away from the break out-breakout of focus, clarity, joy…..to name a few!
While pulling weeds I squatted rather than bending over. I never knew this position could be so invigorating. I saw Yoni doing it yesterday. Lucky girl, creates an environment which she can express her connection, as best as Mary and I will allow her. You see, Yoni doesn’t belong in a mental institution. Yoni needs a safe place she can achieve vibrational alignment. Yoni;s background is in: Polarity Therapy-REIKI and YOGA school, Cranial Sacral Core Work and Trauma Resolution, and Diet call Yoni is written on the clipping my husband kept since before him and I met. This box holds more magic than I can reveal at once, for obvious reasons.
Yoni needs intimate love OR perhaps a Convent. Really, I am in no position to say what others need, just observing.
I just spoke to Mark, Mary’s husband. He said, “I was just thinking of you when the phone rang. Love it when that happens 🙂 He shared how Yoni was not a stranger in the house. Her role is part of my vibrational karma. I have put energy into particular thoughts which look much like this situation. I am worthy. I am master creator of my reality. I am a vibrational being attracting that which is like unto my vibrations. I am the kinder, wiser, stronger parent to myself.
I am off to enjoy my perfect imagined morning with my girlfriends! Wishing you ALL a gentle self-awareness and focus, at least on the breath; body or BOTH!