Even so far as we have come on this journey in our physical bodies, we hit dry patches(humanism). I ask myself which way to go and often revert to a thinking that is fear based. I desire more moments of peace and understanding-understanding of my purpose and everything human which drives me. A place I can detach from my learned behavior. The search for a haven in my current experience.
The contrast in my life provides me with ‘Clues!” Some of the revelations I have are less accepted by my unforgiving heart. A clear view of who I don’t want to be. I often see myself and a new desire of existence is born. Sometime this is the cause of undesirable discomfort. I resist the contrast in order to be relieved of the solution. This is not what I really want!!
I want to create moments of liberation for myself. I seek direction through the signs. For instance, I got home with a piece of paper in my pocket that read, Henri or y, and I don’t remember the last name. Anyway, my husband asked who that is and I retorted, “A reference”. No matter, It is Not relevant any longer. I threw the paper away. Well, it fell into the trash from my hands. I took it as a sign. I don’t dig in the trash!! ONLY AFTER MUCH DELIBERATION WILL I RETRIEVE OUT OF THE TRASH. ONCE IT IS IN THERE, IT STAYS!! Unless, I decide my current happiness depends upon it…..then I will make the acception. Note: I DECIDE my reality!