Deserves more attention……

Between you and Me…..No More Ink!

Leonardo Da Vinci

is my husband’s view in regards to my body.  He says he doesn’t see my past (the tattoo doesn’t define me), he doesn’t see the name (my deceased mother), not even the smudged roses or one characteristic that might cause distress.  He sees INK !! A blur that has never been the reason why he would rather have me on my back.  I am the persuader of such primal positions 🙂

Getting a tattoo on a whim is like going to church looking for God….you find religion.  Religion in my opinion?  An image of me when I am trying to hard at it.  Looking down from my sycamore tree, on all those sinners.  As Zacharias the short didn’t realize Jesus kept company with such villains like himself , I sometimes forget the Pure Great Effort within me is always dining with the elite.  I just felt myself getting holier than tho attitude.  Watch that ego!!

AND ON WITH THE MUSIC 🙂  Only if I can have some fucking humility in my life.

I don’t believe my tattoos have anything to do with….WAIT…..what if: Intimidated ,confused and terrified of the idea of submitting myself up to the beautiful experience of lovemaking.  That would mean that i would need to accept myself, in this moment of all my beauty (within the undefinable realms of creativity, expression is our progressive creative outlet), tattoos or no tattoos.

Anger is an expression of passion.  Anger has the ability to bring you to the depths of despair, preying for  a way out.  The world and people who have been creatively robbed by it, have much misdirected anger.  Worthy of investigation.

Through social involvement one can find himself in others.  And if we are willing to make the joke when we are feeling, other than good about ourselves, our social relationship with ourselves are attracted to us.  One of nurturing and respect gains great potential in becoming an appropriate creative expression.  What that means to me?>>>

Introduced to lighthearted 4 the heavy-heart by my hero, whom I will rename for the sake of giving him a perceived personality, which is deserving of a name.  I will call him, Odysseus 🙂  Odysseus asked me to participate in helping him poke fun of himself.  He shared an embarrassing moment and proceeded to exaggerate his laughter at himself.  That shit is funny!  Try it.  It had me rolling.  I could hardly wait until my turn.  YAH RIGHT!! My throat tightened and my groin heated up.  Bye and bye, this has been magical in relating to others, especially if you are Practically Perfect in Every Way, like Julie Andrews 🙂  And ME!!  Lots of love to you, Julie!!

Sue is my current employer.  Today, while in a vulnerable, sensitive exploration of proper expression (sharing your religion or beliefs of a spiritual nature), I tagged a negative thought about myself.  In so doing I alienated the girl who needed to feel like she was part of something.  In fact I was a part….taking action in my life….getting involved with actively discovering myself through others…..with others!!  This judgemental thought interfered with the good, feel good feelings 😦

When the ice freezes over, heat it up!

Somehow in my sharing, “Thanks for being with me in my moments of awkwardness…”, I was able to accept my current mental state.  I became activated with the grace, while being every bit of my human self.  My state of being, interrupted by gain and loss, was soon to evolve into acceptance and progression. I didn’t say it because I was sorry for who I am.  I was able to creatively express a humanistic experience.  I was involving myself  with another human being…..AND I LOST……of course, against my better judgement, my desire to be needed.  I realized I was a part of this, as much as the paintbrush in my hand.  Full of pure creative expression, waiting for another human to relate, like the brush waits for paint.  Creative expression is ALL everything else is waiting for ….FROM YOU!!

I have only just 🙂 come down this road of discovering my sexuality . Thus far I have discovered: I need more time to figure things out.  I want to LIVE FOREVER in this moment, inviting myself to explore the vast universe ????  As infants, our comfort and survival were dependent on mothers ability to accept and discover the woman she nourishes and respects 🙂  As the child in us fights for more independence from the truth, the truth is what actually sets you free, our fear of death (survival) and  alienation (comfort) cuts us off .  Therefore we are already dead and alienated.  Maybe just for a moment….:)

How can I save those around me?  The people around me will benefit best if I am my own best friend.  Not alone, of course, can I be humble in the process.

Perhaps, my belief that my husband should do the tattoos hardly came from the guilt or history of the current smugged reality (from my past or current mind frame).  If more INK is the answer than we shall discover that together.  As of this morning, Odysseus and I have discovered and rediscovered our truth. Once again accepting myself in all my beauty and expression, while deciding over and over, from moment to moment, I am worthy of Love and Nurturing.  I can give myself the best love I know of and nurture myself when tricked (by myself).

Sometimes, through the process of creatively expressing you will be destroying…..leaving space for your ever evolving self.  Redefining your reality from moment to moment you will discover appropriate boundaries.  You will see your social relationships grow and flower at the appropriate time.  Summer will always be yours 🙂 Most people are in our lives for a short while.  Creation of family will help define us and the boundaries that fit within our internal relationships (firstly) and spill over to our external relationships.  I feel safest expressing spiritual in nature with the people whom respect and nurture me, in spite of myself.  In all my expressiveness , I am accepted through the love of my family.

Thanks to my creative expressive family here at WordPress for allowing me to share.

When you know what you don’t want you can better know who you already are.  While weeping in the arms of discovery,  acceptance kisses your sorrows (guilt) away.  If you have some identity crisis let someone know!

When searching for the anser to appropriate expression of creativity, write about it first.  Look for God and not for religion.


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