Warm Heart = Cold Buns !!

I could have warned them!  If you are nice to me, I will take you on as my own.  I will refer to you as my family.  I will reply to your question, “Are they here?” Reply: “Dad is in the living room.”

My interest in business involving human interaction and how to get the biggest pay-off has consumed my sight.  When do folks feel like they can relate to you and share their innermost?  Sometimes, I find myself looking too hard, as to how I may contribute.  I forget myself.  I lose my igniting, energetic, spontaneous self.  I am a people-pleaser.  I am a seeker of warm, welcome hearts.  I am Lost in a sea of confusion about myself and my purpose.  Who the heck am I?  When I share my feelings or beliefs with others, they shit on me.  Well…it is my perception that I am not good enough for them and have no skills to begin with.

So, do I share my strength and hope with ALL whom I come in contact with?  Do I find what the situation is needing and try to provide?  Perhaps, the exercise of SILENCE is the most rewarding in some situations!

I have been hired on to paint and clean 🙂  These people are good folk.  While they were carrying on a conversation and I was preparing the wall to be painted, a voice was saying,(in my head), “Don’t say anything”.  and then another voice, “Say something”.

What do you think I did?
I said something, out of turn and felt my face turn an imaginable bright red and started profusely sweating.  I became embarrassed and felt myself becoming more secluded than before I spoke.

I shall be who ever I am, at that moment, and fear not judgement from others.  My desire to belong to something is overwhelmingly desperate at times.

My goal this week…….Embrace myself and ALL my desperate ways.  Guide my insecure thoughts about myself to a nurturing place within myself, as if I am playing the motherly role toward myself.  Become the mother I never had.  Imagine myself as the daughter of ME!!  And be better than those who failed miserably in bringing me up!!  Become a perfectly imagined mother to myself 🙂

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4 responses to “Warm Heart = Cold Buns !!

  1. Hi love, I think it’s great that you share so much of yourself on here. I too have a habit of spilling my guts out on posts and not much if anything comes back. Soo when someone like you comes along who is so open, I feel a sisterly love for you.

    • Hey sister !! Hope all is well for you 🙂 You have been a beacon when I’ve needed it most. I need it ALWAYS!! May everything great and good be ours to share with each other. Peace out xo

  2. Yeah, embrace You! Take care of You! Be proud of You! Because the more you do that, the more you have to give to those you love. Just my humble opinion, of course!

    Have a happy day,
    Melia Alexander

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