Seek and I countiue to Find

For me, everything great and magical is right here , in my Adobe Hut !! After all, my hopes for successful relationships must start at home before outside social events can make sense and have appropriate placement in my life.  So, I began my journey into the unknown territory of my spiritual house.

I write things on the walls that I want to be reminded of !!

When I met my husband our home was of the barest essentials.  The kitchen table or the drum set were the only options for sitting.  My first visit to our adobe hut, I discovered the stoop to be a sufficient spot to rest my bum, for the table was much too personal.  I refer to the stoop, this is a 1 foot high bumper that was built on the outside of the original two-room house.

Watercolor by: Hubby and my creative put-together !!

The house was built-in 1937.  The 18 inch solid mud walls support the vigas (roofbeams) which support the raw slats of timber that hold back the six-inch mud roof.  Neighbors inform me that the house was built for a newly wed couple.  The sister and her husband lived next door.  The dirt floors have been covered and recovered over the years with carpet, linoleum, carpet, and more linoleum, and on with the music.  The other two rooms where built around the 50’s.  Cement floors this time, in which I have painted.  Each room has access to the outside, except the bathroom and my room.  I want to install thick glass windows in one of  the east facing doors and possibly the office door too.

There has been much love and hard work in erecting Adobe Hut.  Aside from the fact that when I moved in my husband had let people tag the band room and the nearly empty house , I felt amazingly welcome and safe.

When my husband had bought the place, a few years before me, it was full of the old families belongings.  He says the place was crammed pack with bottles of all sorts.  This family lived here all there lives and by chance died here too.  The love and devotion of two people houses a lifetime of cherished memories.

This place has been a beckon of hope for me.  The emptiness allowed me to see things about myself.  And when there was something from within me that needed to come out, I had a blank canvas.  Home is where the heart is, that is true, but until I had the courage to stay put long enough to discover myself did I find the beauty from within.

When I met my husband I had been on the platform of despair, waiting for my one true conductor to find me.  I knew my journey with him would be the hardest thing I ever did.  I remember days after meeting Canyon, I wept.  I wept for days.  I had this overwhelming feeling that if iI didn’t submit to the a life of searching, discovering and understanding I would never have the staying power it has taken to find Love.  The pain of being human could no longer be ignored.  I desired someone to walk with me on my journey and to share his, to create a life together.

Thespian’s !!

 

I’m still not sure how we manage to stay together but I think about that moment of enlightenment, when I realized that I hadn’t realized much.  That moment when I felt my whole being turning inside out.  I decided then that nothing in this world, not even my past, would be more painful than passing up the chance to LIVE!!  I want to love, cry, work hard to achieve my goals, share, encourage those around me, nurture the little ones, and most of all I WANT TO LIVE FOREVER 🙂

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2 responses to “Seek and I countiue to Find

  1. The idea of staying put long enough to actually deal with myself is terrifying but necessary. That’s awesome that you have the courage to do it. I’m trying to find that in myself now.

  2. Pingback: Thank You! |

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